Nothing Belongs to Me It's All An Experience

You’ve finally saved up for that new phone, the latest shoes, or even a car. You hand over your hard-earned cash, and for a moment, it’s pure bliss. It’s yours. You own it.

But then, a few weeks or months later, the newness fades. The phone gets a scratch. A newer model comes out. That initial spark of joy? It’s gone, replaced by a familiar craving for the next thing. We’ve all been on that treadmill, chasing the high of ownership, only to find it’s a fleeting thrill.

What if we’ve been looking at it all wrong? What if the things we work so hard to buy were never really meant to be owned in the first place? This isn’t some abstract philosophy; but it’s a practical way to live that can unshackle you from stress and bring a deeper sense of freedom.

This mindset shift isn’t about having less; it’s about enjoying more. It’s about understanding that the true value of our resources isn’t in the physical stuff we accumulate but in the life we get to build with them. 

The Weight of Ownership

From a young age, we’re taught to aspire to own things. A house, a car, land, gadgets, these are the markers of success. We tie our identities and our self-worth to our possessions. But have you ever stopped to feel the weight of it all?

Ownership comes with hidden costs, both mental and financial. That car you bought? Now you’re thinking about insurance, servicing, fuel, and the constant worry about it getting damaged. That new gadget? The fear of it being lost or stolen can sometimes outweigh the joy of using it.

Think about a relative who finally built their dream home. Instead of being a place of peace, it became a source of endless anxiety. The roof leaks during the rainy season, the fence needs repairing, and the cost of maintaining the "dream" is a constant drain on their peace of mind. They own the house, but in many ways, the house ends up owning them.

This isn’t to say we shouldn’t have nice things. It’s about questioning the why. Are we buying for status, for a temporary feeling, or for a genuine, lasting improvement to our daily experience?

Shifting the Mindset: From Having to Experiencing

If ownership is so fraught, what’s the alternative? It’s to see your money not as a tool to acquire things, but as a tool to acquire experiences, stability, and freedom.

When you start to view your spending through this lens, your decisions begin to change. You start asking different questions:

• Instead of: "Can I afford to buy this?"

• You ask: "Will owning this thing add more value to my life than the experience I could have by using that same money differently?"

Let’s break it down with a example. Imagine you have 5000 set aside. You could use it to buy a high-end designer jacket. It’s a status symbol. You’ll own it.

Or, you could use that same 5000 to pay for a weekend trip with your closest friends to a place you’ve never been. You’d get the experience of the journey, the laughter, the shared stories, the new sights and sounds.

Which one do you think you’ll remember in five years? The jacket hanging in your closet, or the memory of that trip? The jacket’s value depreciates the moment you buy it. The value of the trip, however, appreciates every time you reminisce about it. It becomes a part of your story. That’s the core of the concept. The money was converted into a lasting memory, not a depreciating asset.

The Five Principles of Experiential Spending

Adopting this lifestyle is easier than it sounds. It’s about making intentional choices. Here are five principles to guide you:

1. Value Time Over Things: The most precious resource we have is time, because it’s the one thing we can never get back. Spending money to buy yourself time is often the best investment. This could mean hiring someone to help with chores you dislike, so you have more free time for family. Or it could mean living closer to your work to cut down a stressful commute. You’re trading money for hours of your life back.

2. Invest in Learning: Putting money into a skill, a course, or even books is investing in the one thing that truly belongs to you: your mind. The knowledge and skills you gain become a part of you. They can’t be taken away, they don’t rust, and they can open doors to new opportunities. The experience of learning and growing is an investment that pays dividends for a lifetime.

3. Prioritize Health and Wellbeing: This is the ultimate experience. Spending on nutritious food, a gym membership, or a regular health check-up isn’t an expense; it’s a direct investment in your ability to enjoy every other experience life has to offer. Good health is the foundation of a good life.

4. Build Connections, Not Just Collections: Use your resources to strengthen relationships. This doesn’t mean expensive outings. It could be as simple as covering the bill for a family dinner, helping a friend in a tight spot, or funding a family reunion. The experience of connection and community is infinitely more valuable than any object.

5. Buy Convenience and Peace of Mind: Sometimes, the best experience money can buy is the absence of a bad one. Paying for a quality mattress for better sleep, investing in a reliable power backup solution to avoid work disruptions, or getting comprehensive insurance. You’re not buying a product; you’re purchasing reliability, comfort, and the peace of mind to enjoy your days without unnecessary stress.

The Freedom of Letting Go

One of the most beautiful outcomes of this mindset is the freedom it brings from the fear of loss. When you are less attached to things, you become more resilient.

If your phone breaks, it’s inconvenient, but it’s not a catastrophe. It was a tool for experiences (staying connected, taking photos, learning), and that tool can be replaced. The experiences it helped create are still yours. You haven’t lost them.

This detachment reduces anxiety and makes you more adaptable to life’s inevitable changes and challenges. You become lighter, both in your wallet and in your spirit.

You May Ask

How does this work for big purchases like a house or a car?

It’s all about the intention behind the purchase. Are you buying the biggest house on the street to show you’ve made it (ownership), or are you buying a comfortable home in a good community where your family can thrive and make memories (experience)? The same goes for a car. Is it for status, or is it for the reliable, safe experience of taking your children to school and visiting family? Frame the purchase around the experience it enables, not the asset it creates.

Does this mean I should never buy anything nice for myself?

Absolutely not! The point isn’t to live a life of deprivation. It’s to be more mindful. If a beautiful piece of art truly brings you joy every single day you look at it, then it is enhancing your daily experience. That’s a worthwhile use of resources. The key is honesty. Are you buying it for a fleeting moment of happiness, or for a lasting, genuine uplift in your everyday life?

How can I start applying this if I’m used to a different way of thinking?

Start small. The next time you’re about to make a non-essential purchase, pause for a day. Ask yourself: "What experience could this money create instead?" Maybe the 3000 for a new shirt could cover a day trip with your siblings. You don’t have to make a huge change overnight. Just begin to notice the difference between the temporary thrill of acquisition and the lasting joy of a good experience.

A Life Rich in What Truly Matters

At the end of the day, we won’t be remembered for the things we owned. We’ll be remembered for the lives we lived, the people we touched, and the stories we created. Our bank accounts and our possessions are merely the fuel for that journey.

Embracing the idea is the ultimate act of financial and personal liberation. It frees you from comparison, reduces anxiety, and directs your energy and resources toward what truly creates a rich, fulfilling life: a collection of priceless moments, not a pile of disposable stuff.

So, the next time you reach for your wallet, think about the story you want to tell.

Choose the experience. You’ll never look back.